Why I Promise Confidence
with Co-Hosts, Blair Petroni & Erin Cox
Can confidence really be promised through style? In this episode of Style Rebellion, Blair Petroni and Erin Cox break down why Blair does promise confidence and how her Style Blueprint™️ turns getting dressed from a daily guessing game into a repeatable, reliable system.
This conversation challenges the tired styling platitudes we’ve all heard: “just wear what you love, dress for your shape, confidence comes from the inside,” and explains why those ideas fall apart without structure. Blair shares how understanding colors, lines, and essence gives clients tools they can use every day, not just outfit ideas that expire the moment trends change.
You’ll learn:
Why confidence isn’t a feeling, it’s a framework
The difference between traditional styling advice and a true style system
How learning why clothes work builds trust in yourself
Why style should teach you about you, not just fashion rules
How a personalized blueprint makes getting dressed easier, faster, and more fun
As Blair puts it: she doesn’t promise confidence because of clothes. She promises it because once you understand yourself structurally and biologically, confidence becomes an internal compass you can trust.
If you’ve ever felt like style advice leaves you more confused than empowered, this episode explains what’s been missing and how to finally build confidence that lasts.
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Blair Petroni 0:02
Hey, good morning. Blair, Hey, Aaron, how are you? Girl? It's been cray. Kay, bananas. Bananas, crazy, cuckoo nuts. Over here, I don't even know how many metaphors I can say. What about
Erin Cox 0:18
you? That's a loaded question.
Blair Petroni 0:21
You always say that, like we have to get you something else.
Erin Cox 0:25
Okay, so do you really want? You want to try again? All right, good morning. Blair. Oh no, we don't.
Blair Petroni 0:34
Oh no, I we could have totally kept that one and just be just, you know, hit you. Sorry. One more time for the people in the back with the cheap seats and ready and take two. Take 312 Good morning. Blair, morning. Aaron, how are you dude? I'm like, 50 million to 100 infinity. Like, my forget burning the candle of both ends. Like, I think I've liked chopped that bitch in half, and I'm burning it in the middle and on the side. And I'm like, is there a wick that I can add to the middle half, end of this corner.
Erin Cox 1:21
Like, there's, you have one of those great big candles that only burns in the middle. And you're like, but what about the edges? I need to burn that too.
Blair Petroni 1:29
That's exactly what's happening right now, bro. Like, there's so much going on
Erin Cox 1:36
deeply in my soul. Is, it's been a week here. We're here, eyes twitching. We've had strep throat, we've had the virus not known as the flu or covid. We've had fevers.
Blair Petroni 1:51
We're not is it like Voldemort, like we're not saying its name. You know,
Erin Cox 1:55
honestly, what it is is that after I had to hold my children down and swab them for covid in 2021 I promised them I would never stick a swab up their nose for any reason ever again. And I, like the school teachers were like, do they have the flu? And I'm like, we don't go to the pediatrician for viruses. I should say that because my husband is a pediatric physician and I am a pediatric nurse. So like, it's not that we don't believe in taking our kids to the doctor. Someone picks up the phone and starts dialing DCS calm down to handle these situations. At home,
Blair Petroni 2:31
we have a Erin is a full ass nurse pediatric NICU, by the way, and her husband is an pediatric anesthesiologist. Like these are the people that I would drive in a snowstorm with my child, too, if you know I needed them.
Erin Cox 2:49
So all that to say we don't we. I don't go take them to the pediatrician unless I'm pretty sure that you know either we need to be evaluated or there's something that needs medication. So there's that, there's that we got Cougar puberty going on here. We like Cougar puberty. A friend of mine called it that to me the other day, and I thought it was far more amusing than perimenopause, right? That all sounds all official and miserable. Cougar puberty is like, Oh, my hair's greasy again, and I don't know why my skin is breaking out. Why am I breaking out suddenly I smell funny, like this girl. To me, I'm like, waking up at two, 2am every night.
Blair Petroni 3:29
Have you gotten the Hydrochloric Acid Spray yet? Where that you just, like, spray it on your pits so that you can, like, wipe it away and get the bacteria. If you've heard of that
Erin Cox 3:38
shit, I've heard of the spray. The hydrochloric acid. Part is a little concerning
Blair Petroni 3:42
is that what it is, is that what it is you guys don't, do not
Erin Cox 3:47
spray that on your
Blair Petroni 3:52
skin. There's a spray, though I've seen
Erin Cox 3:56
it, I can't remember the name of it. I'm sure our social media feeds will tell you in just a minute, because you know everyone's listening to everything. Yeah, correct
Blair Petroni 4:03
now that, now that your phone knows exactly what you're listening to, what is this? But I have one
Erin Cox 4:07
prebiotic spray before. Yes, yes, I that I'm about to go buy that whenever my social media feed tells me what it is, it's gonna, oh, speaking of which, let me silence my phone right now, because
Blair Petroni 4:17
I will text it to you after we are done, because I'll text you a photo of it, because I have it because, girl, I even started spraying, like, the inside of my jackets with it and stuff it actually, because it'll, it'll, like, shrink the the smelly bacteria. Clearly not a scientist, guys, I work with shoes. Like, I'm not a scientist. Whatever the product is, it works, yeah, but I can help you be less smelly. Like we're gonna
Erin Cox 4:43
need to get an affiliate link and drop it in the comments.
Blair Petroni 4:48
I'll put it on my Amazon store for you. Got sponsored, not sponsored, but I can put an affiliate Amazon tell you where to
Erin Cox 4:55
find the no more smelly bits. So anyway, it's, uh, yeah, we're just. Oh, we're just picking up one foot in front and put it in front of the other over here right now. Yeah.
Blair Petroni 5:05
But you also live in a really cold, like, arid climate. You live in Tennessee, so like, you guys get really ill constantly in the winter.
Erin Cox 5:16
It's yeah, and it doesn't ever, it doesn't decide what it's going to do and stay there, like, it'll be 21 day, and, like, 70 the next week, and it's humid, and it just, yeah, I was reminded this week of, like, the concept of opening your windows every I think in Germany, they call it lufthann, but so, like, every, every day this week, I've like, run up to my children's bedrooms and, like, opened all the windows and shut the doors and set a timer to go back in like 15 minutes, and I'm like, Y'all, I am not. I refuse to go down. I refuse. Ain't got time for that.
Blair Petroni 5:47
So going down. Ain't got time to go down. Well, you were just getting over like, being ridiculously ill for like a month or whatever. So yeah, no.
Erin Cox 6:00
When you were here filming, I was like, why am I so tired? Why am I so tired? Like, this is, this is a busy schedule, but like, I feel like I should not be this tired. Well, yeah, so.
Blair Petroni 6:10
And you were like, ridiculously ill, yeah. And none of us, none of us knew we were like, you doing okay? And you're like, I don't Yeah, yeah,
Erin Cox 6:19
does my is my makeup good enough to make me look like I feel great.
Blair Petroni 6:22
I just like, looked at you and I was like, yeah, yeah, you're dragging girl, yeah,
Erin Cox 6:28
those dark circles under your eyes are darkened.
Blair Petroni 6:32
They be dark. Put some put some more concealer on there. You doing?
Erin Cox 6:36
Okay? Where's the Shape Tape?
Blair Petroni 6:40
Yo, tar, tar, shake tape is OG Oh,
Erin Cox 6:45
it's amazing. All right, so there's, there's that now that everybody knows way too much information about what's happening.
Blair Petroni 6:52
Oh, no, never. There's never enough information. Oh, can I tell you about I had a flamboyant gamine with romantic essence yesterday?
Erin Cox 7:03
Girl, can, okay, can I be her?
Blair Petroni 7:07
Girl, she, she like, popped on on screen, and I
Erin Cox 7:13
was like, Hi. Girl, I got the Bowdoin catalog in the mail this week. Bowden doesn't love me back very well, but there's this Harlequin trench coat with all these great diamonds. I was like, oh, oh, to be an FG,
Blair Petroni 7:27
oh, my god, yeah,
Erin Cox 7:30
somebody that can handle this.
Blair Petroni 7:33
The best part about it when she was like, I don't think I'm an FG. And I was like, Okay. And I started telling her about FG, and then she started talking to me about all her favorite outfits, and I was like, Uh huh uh huh, uh huh uh huh. And we kept talking and talking and talking, and at the end, she goes, Okay, I think I'm convinced. I was like,
Erin Cox 7:55
I started yesterday, yeah. I
Blair Petroni 7:57
was like, It's my third day. Yeah, it's my third day.
Erin Cox 8:02
Like, did she embrace it by the time your session?
Blair Petroni 8:05
Oh yeah, okay. Oh yeah, yeah. I mean, she was like, I've been a creative my whole life, and I love crop tops, and I just, I don't understand why I would really rather wear skirts or dresses over anything else that's on an fg thing, guys, that's a romantic thing. And she's like, and I say, girl, you love big hair and you love big glasses, like sunglasses. It's like, you love perfume, you love high heels, you love and check, check all the romantic stuff. And she was like, so I've heard you say that you can read people like a book, but I didn't like, I believed it, but like, I didn't believe it. She's like, but this is creepy. And I said, because it's your style, idses, yeah, and she was so cool. Like, it's been a minute since I've had an FGR, a flam, blink, I mean, romantic. It's been a minute, and they are freaking cool. She gets she's like a little femme fatale.
Erin Cox 9:06
I love it. I love it. Oh, that's so fun. So so fun. Well, I suppose she left your studio feeling a little more confident yesterday,
Blair Petroni 9:15
she is actually she was a virtual client. Oh, okay, well, I started my day in Sweden yesterday. She did so my first virtual style analysis yesterday was in Sweden. I started at negative 32 Celsius. Oh, thank you.
Erin Cox 9:35
Yesterday in the dark girl.
Blair Petroni 9:39
I was like, show me outside. And she goes, can you see outside my window? Like, no, it's very dark, yeah. And she goes, yeah, it goes down real early. I'm totally playing up her accent. She did not sound like that, but she was this real, real cute, little soft, natural with a gamine acid. And love it. She was great. Anyway, yeah, so it was a great it's a great day. Great day. You guys,
Erin Cox 10:10
everybody I love that you have had clients lately that have just like, filled your cup and restored your soul and helped you, like, reconnect with why you love doing what you're doing so much and why you're so good at it.
Blair Petroni 10:26
I feel like I'm good at it depends on the day, but I will, I will receive that love. Thank you, Aaron. I will receive that love some, some days I feel like I'm better than others. But you know, we're all learning.
Erin Cox 10:37
I think that's a normal human thing for sure.
Blair Petroni 10:43
I feel like even doctors are probably like, I don't know, dude, this is why they call it practice, right?
Erin Cox 10:50
Yeah, no. I remember days working in the unit where, like, I hit every IV and, like, did all the things and like, everything went smoothly, and you're like, Yeah, I'm on top of the world. And then there were days where, like, you couldn't hit the broadside of a barn, and, like, everything just felt heavy and hard and weary. And so I think it's just the state of the human condition.
Blair Petroni 11:15
I think it's also and maybe you and I have talked about this, so I know you can co voyage, and I wonder if some of our listeners can co voyage too. It's also being like when you really, really love what you do, and you are a person that is really devoted to making sure that your clients are taken care of, and your people or your customers or whomever are taken care of. Like this is something that you perfection is second to none for you. Like, you will make sure that you are the best of the best of the best at this. Like, that's important to you, yeah, for sure,
Erin Cox 11:52
for sure. And so that's something. Can I pause for just my children are screaming. I don't know if you can hear them in the background, but I can hear them in background. Can I hit pause? Can we, like, time out for just a second and they can just cut this. I'm gonna make sure that no one's bleeding or dying. Sorry. I'm so sorry. Hey buddy, I am not available. I
Blair Petroni 12:35
Hi, nolito, I know you guys are listening to this right now. Hi, Emily, so Hey professor, Hi you guys. Well, Aaron's children are being Aaron's children. I you
Erin Cox 13:42
it all right, have returned. I'm sorry.
Blair Petroni 13:59
No, no, no, you're totally good. Okay, I'm gonna text Anthony and ask him how our jingles coming along.
Erin Cox 14:06
Sounds good. Lolito,
Blair Petroni 14:11
I already said hi to them while you were gone. Oh, that's our jingle coming along.
Erin Cox 14:18
Thanks for your patience. That's literally I was like trying to be professionals while we're homebound with our children.
Blair Petroni 14:24
I was like, Hi nalito, hi Emily.
Erin Cox 14:28
Happy listening. All right, ready and action. All right. What are we talking about today?
Blair Petroni 14:40
Blair, today, I'm really excited to I'm always excited to talk about what we're talking about. But today we're going to be talking about what I do promise, confidence in your style. And this is something that is a direct result to hearing. What feels like conversation that's been kind of circling in the style community for a minute right now, and I felt like I wanted to jump in, okay, and get my two cents on that you throw in your hat in the ring. Okay, here I am throwing my hat in the ring. Because I feel like I've heard a lot of stylists say recently, you know, confidence isn't something that you know you can promise with style, because it's not a permanent state, and elephants don't create confidence, and it's just something that you know you're it's ever evolving. You as a person are ever evolving. And honestly, that feels like an expectation that's a cop out to me, yeah, yeah, it feels like a cop out.
Erin Cox 15:55
I mean, I think there's components of that that I can get on board with and then there's other pieces of it that I'm like, I respectfully disagree.
Blair Petroni 16:06
Well, that's the classic, would respectfully disagree. I 1,000% disagree.
Erin Cox 16:12
Well, so my daughter at school, when they do their little number corner and they like, solve problems and they talk about stuff, and the teacher is like, training them to like, they have to say, if they disagree with what somebody said, they have to say, I respectfully disagree before they start saying their opinion. To try to like, teach them some social skills, which I love totally. We're trying to model that in our household. So also, I respect that. So there's that
Blair Petroni 16:39
girl, your classic is so classic, especially because your house is full of summer colors and it looks like a cape cod house. So Cape Cod. Okay, here is why I completely 1,000% disagree with this. So confidence for me is 100% something that can happen consistently when your style is absolutely a reflection of you as a person. And you can do that with what I call my style blueprint. It's trademarked, okay. You can do that with your colors, your lines, which I call your structure of your body, and your vibe of your clothes. That's your essence, guys, that is replicable, that is something you can do over and over and over and over again, all day, every day. Yeah, I don't promise a mood or a feeling like you're going to be invincible day in and day out. Like that's what a lot of people are trying to tell you. Confidence is right. Confidence, it's a mood I'm not promising you, yeah, a mood. I'm promising you this consistent look and feeling like yourself once you know your style blueprint,
Erin Cox 17:54
yeah, 100% you're still gonna wake up some mornings and like, feel yucky, right? Like, maybe you physically don't feel good. Maybe you are emotionally broken down over, fill in the blank, take your pick. And those days, you may not necessarily feel like excited and confident and like radiant, but you can still walk into your closet when you know your style blueprint and pull out things that you know honor you and that are going to make you feel good and what you're wearing. And then I think that is going to lift your mood, and that is going to support how you're feeling that day. But it's not it's not like I am I wake up feeling confident, right? Like not every day is like that, but you can walk into your wardrobe every day and feel confident when you're in what you're choosing.
Blair Petroni 18:38
That's also not even a feeling Erin that's been studied by Harvard, by Stanford, by Berkeley, by those are studies that have been made of when you look and feel like yourself, when you put clothing on that is almost like an armor for you, and you walk into a room, you are going to have this spark that comes inside of you. It's almost like that. What they tell you of if you smile, right, even though you're unhappy, you it will start releasing serotonin, yeah, in your brain because of the muscles that it is moving in your face that's moving onto your brain. It's been studied. Yeah, crazy. So confidence, what I'm telling you guys, it's not a mood. It is replicable infrastructure. So here's what we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about why many stylists can't promise that level of confidence, why I can promise you guys that, and then why confidence really is this skill. It's a skill that I want you guys to feel like you can walk away with, and it's not a feeling, yeah, okay. Confidence is a skill you guys and you can do it. It is learnable. Incredibly learnable. Everybody can learn. Confidence. So let's first talk about deconstructing the why I don't promise confidence, and what stylists actually mean by that. Okay, what they really mean by that is they're saying like confidence fluctuates between, you know, saying like you can't achieve it constantly, because they're saying it's a mood, right? They're saying that when it's a mood, it's almost like you're it's one, it's done, it's over, yeah?
Erin Cox 20:35
Or it's this up and down all the time, because our moods constantly change, even in the person's name day, yeah, yeah.
Blair Petroni 20:43
And even in fashion, even in fashion, the fashion industry, or even as stylists, there are stylists that will try to sell you confidence as like this magic outfit that you can buy. That's literally nonsense. It is not
Erin Cox 21:02
Amazon influencers on my Instagram feed telling me to go buy the crew neck sweater vest and the but like, and the cropped jeans and all that that's not gonna just like, make me feel magically amazing.
Blair Petroni 21:17
Yeah, no, no, no. And it's so funny that you say that there are so many clients that I have that walk in girl, it's almost every single style analysis where they're like. So I ended up buying this outfit because we asked them to bring in things that like they like and that they don't like. And they'll always bring in either one outfit or like pieces for an outfit where they're like. So I saw an influencer wearing this, so I decided to buy it. I was like, That is so cute. And I put it on my body, and it looks terrible. It was cute, probably because it's their body type in essence, but it's not yours. Girl, yeah.
Erin Cox 21:57
And I feel like you have said to me before that a lot of the like, influencers tend to be gamine or dramatic or classic, and so if you're not one of those families, or you don't share that as your essence, look no further right, like that. That's exactly why. Or when you try something and you're like, oh, man, this doesn't look good on me. Like, let that be a little flag that maybe I'm not that, and that's okay, because you're not them and they're not you correct. Let's do you correct.
Blair Petroni 22:36
You are you? And we talked about this in the pre work of style analysis. Episode of like you are a celebrity of one you are you that is it Period. End of story. There's nobody else that is as fabulous as you, even if. And I've had other flamboyant naturals with classic essence, because that's what you are, right? I've had other soft dramatics with natural essence, which is what I am. We do not look the same. We do not dress the same. That's why clients have to stop asking for celebrities or other people that they can look to. Nope. You are you? Yeah, you. Are you
Erin Cox 23:21
that why your style archetype workbook can be super helpful? Because it's not looking at a celebrity. It's like creating your own your own North Star, like your own direction for who you are and what you want to be and how you want to be perceived in the world.
Blair Petroni 23:38
Yeah, yeah. And that's one thing that we created it because Lauren, my admin, she was like, All right, girl, we have so many people that don't understand how you can go be a witch in the world and just pick out a shirt that looks like them immediately. And she was like, we're gonna sit down and we're gonna figure out how we can help them do that for themselves. Yeah. And so what the workbook is is it's 15 pages and four exercises inside of those pages that help you turn your body type and your essence into an archetype that then you personify as a human so let me explain that further. I have clients that will come back and tell me my archetype is a china doll with grenades in secret pockets, and her name is Ada Thorne. And I'm like, that sounds cool as hell.
Erin Cox 24:32
I want to meet her. Where do I find her?
Blair Petroni 24:36
She's fire and she and at that point, the fourth exercise is me teaching you how to shop for that person, where, essentially we say, if ADA Thorne would not buy that shirt, you don't buy that shirt. Because when you first learn what your style ID is, your body type and your essence, it can be really hard for you. To take yourself out of that equation, to go find clothing for you that can be really difficult, yeah, but if you have a style archetype workbook, and you have the ability to go in and create that archetype for yourself, you then aren't shopping for you. Yeah, you're shopping for ADA, but you are ADA, and
Erin Cox 25:23
then it takes some of the stress out of it for you, right? Because you're removing you from this picture.
Blair Petroni 25:31
That's the whole idea. That's the whole idea behind it. And one of the things that you guys are going to hear us say over and over today is, and we're gonna say it in probably 14 different ways. Confidence isn't a mood. It's not a mood. It is going to be this replicable framework, guys, and for us, it's a framework of choices that reduces doubt in your mind about getting dressed? Yeah, and one of the things that I tell you guys is you can get dressed in 90 seconds, once you know your style blueprint, your colors, your body type and your essence, 90 seconds your closet becomes Garanimals for adults.
Erin Cox 26:16
That's literally not an exaggeration, because this morning, I got dressed in 90 seconds. 90 seconds to get ready, and I was, it's, it's cold here, because it's obvious, it's winter, but it's, it's been, you know, in the 20s, 30s. I'm looking at my watch for the exact temperature. It's 31 degrees outside today, but it's, it's cold enough here to need some warm clothes. And I put on a sweater. But, you know, as we talked about the beginning Cougar puberty, I'm like, I'm really hot now. So I grabbed, I grabbed this other it's just like a lightweight sweater that I bought. But I threw on my blue straight leg high rise jeans. I threw on my orange sweater, which is, you know, it's not perfect in terms of honoring my lines specifically, but it's pretty stinking close, and I've got my other neutral in my earrings. So, like, two neutrals, pop of color. Spring check done, accommodating my width, accommodating my vertical. If I were leaving the house, I would throw on my sneakers that had of a pop of orange in them and call it done. And like, maybe my Tennessee Volunteers hat like, and there we go. 90 seconds, you're done.
Blair Petroni 27:20
Bing, bang, boom, baby, check right. Like it's so I tell you guys, it is. I teach you how to get dressed without second guessing yourself. Yeah, talk about confidence.
Erin Cox 27:35
Yes, please. That's honestly like as someone who used to stand in my wardrobe and look at it full of clothes, and be like, Why do I feel like I have nothing to wear? And then I would put on something and I wouldn't like one detail, and then I would change that thing, and then I would put on something else, and I didn't like that. And it just was this, like, literally getting dressed every single day just made me feel like complete and total garbage, because I I just didn't feel like myself in anything that I was wearing, and I was wasting so much time and mental energy like staring at clothes that literally didn't love me back, and I couldn't figure out why the things weren't working for me
Blair Petroni 28:16
well, and correct me if I'm wrong. You and I talked about this during your style analysis appointment, where you were like, Girl, there's like, six different people that live in my closet.
Erin Cox 28:29
Yeah, yes, I felt that way. And then also, I mean, there's, I am at this point in my life. I'm home with small kids. I'm running. I mean that, I guess one of them was in preschool when we did my I'm like, was it a year ago? Was it two years ago? I know I never was anyway, preschool, elementary school, like, had just come off of this season of being home all the time with little ones, like pregnant, breastfeeding, losing weight, all the things. So I had many age, many like stages of dress in my closet, just based on my body shape alone. And then there were, like, all the pieces of requisite function, right? I just, I needed stuff that could get spit up on, that could get, like, snot wiped all over it. Let's just, this is just beyond, I mean, I am honest, like, right? It just, I needed things that could write, poop, vomit, all the things like, yeah, maybe spit up carrots on you. Like, it's done. Like, sorry, I am a laundry wizard, and that is one that I have not
Blair Petroni 29:28
mastered yet. Whoa. You guys, if Aaron, it can't be done. Y'all it cannot be done. Yeah? Wow, carrots, bro, carrots,
Erin Cox 29:39
it's gonna happen. But then, then then also there's, and I know other women, because I've talked about this where you shop for, like the things that you wish you were doing, or like the life that you want to be having, or like the events that you want to be going to. So I would always find myself looking for these fancy things, and I'm like, but I have nowhere to wear that. Like, why would I. You know, where am I going to wear that? When does it make sense? When is it appropriate for me to wear classic appropriate, right? And so it was just, it was such a struggle, and I didn't. I never felt good, no? And I was tired of not feeling good. Because it shouldn't be that hard to feel good in what you're wearing. Yeah, feeling good about who you are, like that might take some work and some therapy, but like to wake up and feel good. It just it shouldn't be
Blair Petroni 30:36
that hard period. It also doesn't matter what stage of life that you are at because I'll have clients say like when I lose weight, I'll come back when I'm not a mom, I'll come back when I know you don't deserve to put off looking and feeling like yourself because you have this block that you think is keeping you from doing something? Is this self placed block? No, that's bull. Weight has nothing to do with this. Your quote, unquote lines have nothing to do with your weight. You can gain and lose 100 pounds. The guidelines are going to be exactly the same for you, your vibe and your essence. For me, that's your soul. It's not what you look like. It's your soul. It's your soul, yeah, and your colors. That's your undertone. Okay? That's nothing to do with weight, none of it. Then, if you're a mom, cool. There's this whole thing that I talked to you about in personal styling, where we can go into all of these different parts of okay, what do you do in your life? How deep do you like? What? What's all the activities that you do, and we can talk about how we can create your closet around the activities that you do in your life. All of this is completely manageable. You are creating excuses for yourself. Stop it. You are worth more than that. Yeah, absolutely, there's a there's a lot of people that are listening that needed to hear that.
Erin Cox 32:11
Yeah, yeah. Learning to love the body that you're in, and learning to care for it, and being empowered to dress it as it is today is so empowering and so powerful for your own journey. Yeah, and maybe, just maybe, that's the boost of confidence that you need to be like I can do the nutrition program I value myself enough to prioritize a walk today or I'm gonna go get that physical done, because I just don't feel good and I want to feel better.
Blair Petroni 32:49
Sure, absolutely, so absolutely
Erin Cox 32:53
you You are worth feeling confident in who you are today, in this moment right now, get there. Let's do it 100%
Blair Petroni 33:05
and nothing about the clothing is the secret. You are the secret. That is why I created the style blueprint. It's literally you, yeah, it's you, right, yeah. Now I say blueprint, and I do a fingerprint, but it's a blueprint. It's you. It's everything having to do with you as a person like and I tell everybody, like, I'm not, I'm I'm not the secret, I'm not the magic, you're the magic. Yeah, everything is about you,
Erin Cox 33:43
and there's, there's, none of us are the same, right, none of us look the same, none of us have the same and none of us are the same, right? But there's beauty in you that deserves to be on display.
Blair Petroni 33:58
Yeah, a lot of it also the
Erin Cox 34:01
fingerprints a little easier than like, on, on, winding A DNA, like,
Blair Petroni 34:07
or like, pulling open a scroll.
Erin Cox 34:09
Sorry, my brain is stuck in the thumbprint. I'm like, how else could we illustrate that? Like, intense animation for blueprint. Sorry, I apologize.
Blair Petroni 34:25
Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. That's all you have to know, guys, that's it. That's all the science I know. All right, that and binomial nomenclature, which is how you read chemical names. Yes, name them. That's it. That's all I got. Okay, moving on. So here's what most stylists are actually promising. So here's, here's the things that you'll hear like they're very common terms that you you will hear a lot of stylists say online. You guys ready? A lot of you guys are gonna be like, Oh, my God, she hit all of them. Fuck. Wear, what makes you feel good? Wear, what makes you feel good? Express yourself. Have fun. What? What? Okay, here's what I say to all these things. What if wearing what makes you feel good looks like garbage, and you know it
Erin Cox 35:32
well. And why does it make you feel good? Like, is it comfortable? Like, ask yourself the question about, why? Why does this feel good? And then let's go find what feels good in something that also honors you.
Blair Petroni 35:48
What if you're a classic and the idea of expressing yourself scares the hell out of you? CO voyage, what? What if you've been having fun, but the outfits still aren't working right? Like, let's refute all of those things. Like the that is, guys, all of these, those refutes that I just said, those are clients,
Erin Cox 36:15
right? And that's
Blair Petroni 36:18
girl, those are literally clients. So in my personal experience, they're they're saying those. The stylists are saying these things because they're tired of getting fussed at by their clients. They're saying, wear what makes you feel good? They're saying, express yourself. They're saying, have fun. Because they have people, both online and their clients, coming to them and saying you're making me feel bad. You're telling me my body's the problem. You're telling me that I can't wear what I want you. They're getting fussed at. They don't want to get fussed at anymore, so they're not standing their ground, and they're trying to make you feel better. Yeah, and so they're saying all of these things, or they don't know how to better say other things, of how to very gently push you towards something that can make you feel good and look fire on you, that can help you express yourself and be in your colors and in your essence, right? Like these are platitudes that they're telling you these things, they sound nice and they're encouraging, but they're cotton candy, and they tell you nothing. They tell you nothing. They don't dismantle our internal insecurities to help us dress better. They're asking clients to hope that style eventually helps them feel better at some point. I'm
Erin Cox 37:57
going to read that again, because I think it was that powerful so they don't dismantle internal securities to help you dress better. They ask clients to hope style eventually helps them feel better at some point in the future, which, and I'm not, I'm not calling out or naming names. But if that's your approach to styling, you are creating a dependent client in theory, right? There's the whole like, catch a fish, Teach a man to fish, right? So when you are going through your style journey and you can start learning how to fish, then you eventually shouldn't need your stylist, except for maybe, like a one off personal styling session here and there. Or if you're getting ready to go to an event and you just want to make yourself look extra fabulous for that, or if you have a specific need, and you're like, and I just, I need some help finding what I'm looking
Blair Petroni 39:08
for, and what's my why, Erin, in my business, put
Erin Cox 39:13
yourself out of business, right?
Blair Petroni 39:15
Yeah, yeah, right. And I tell you guys that up front, yeah, that's why I'm very different from all the other stylists. I am not here to chain you to me. In fact, what you said, Aaron, is very, very normal in the style community. It's, you know, we're told, Hey, don't tell your client all their secrets, because if you do, they're not going to keep coming to you. Now that's not to be nefarious as a stylist, I'm not calling stylists nefarious. Okay, do not misunderstand me. We are people. We need to make money. We need to live however. The idea is, if you tell your clients their secrets, they're not going to come to you. I am the complete opposite in that I want to tell you every single thing. Thing that's special about you so that eventually you're not going to need me anymore. Will that take time? Absolutely, most of my clients see me three to five times in the span of about two years. Some see me more. Some see me less, yeah, but it's about average three to five.
Erin Cox 40:19
Yeah, no, absolutely. And I would even go so far to say as when you have identified the things that are making you you styling does become fun, right? And then you get to play with the self expression in a way that's like, freeing and empowering, and not in a way that's like, WTF am i doing every day my closet? Like, what's happening, right? And you are gonna feel good in the things that you wear.
Blair Petroni 40:48
Totally, totally, totally. So what are when we're talking about these platitudes, okay, what are these traditional stylists promising you well, they're promising you a kind word. They're promising you some outfit suggestions. But what are you really learning in the long run? You're not, yeah, you're not learning anything. Yeah, you're not. You need to be picking a stylist that's going to be teaching you about you, not just about the world of style, right? Like, oh, this is what an hourglass wears, or this is what a rectangle wears, or a triangle. No, no, no, no, no. You you as a person. You are a celebrity of one. Who are you? What makes you special, everything about you, what are they teaching you? If they aren't teaching you, bye, bye, bye, bye. Who are you? Bye. Okay, so here's this. Let's talk about, I call it like, quote, unquote, the heart of the difference. Okay, we call this the tools versus the rules. And I call it, you know, I don't like, I don't like rules. Don't like them. I'm a dramatic I'm very rule resistant, a lot of stuff we like. We like tools, okay? And your style blueprint are really tools, and this is why I can promise you confidence. So, you know, we hear all the time that style is about tools. It's not about rules. In this case, it's it's really not about chasing confidence. And, you know, we say this mantra too, right? Like tools, not rules, but your style blueprint. It just creates this reliability. And so when I've studied other stylists, and their approach, typically, what they're doing is they're focusing heavily on that body shape, like what I was talking about earlier, right, which is, like you're an hourglass, and I call it the nouns, right? You're an apple, you're a pear, you're an hourglass, you're a right, but nothing about your colors, nothing about your essence, and that, for me, misses two really critical components of what makes you you wearing colors that don't love you back, makes you look bananas crazy. You can look dead, you can look sick. You can look nutso, right? And then wearing clothing and accessories that aren't in your essence makes you look like you're in a costume. And so many of us co voyage with that.
Erin Cox 43:52
I was cleaning out photos on my phone the other evening, and I looked back there I was, there was an event that I went to. It was a conference, and there was a, you know, like, a very fun dress up night, and it was like a Havana themed, you know, like you're at the end conference, you get all excited a fun party, and then you go home way too tired and underslept the next day. But I used Rent the Runway for my dress and which I love. I mean, like, gosh, if you need formal wear, that is one of my go to places, because I don't want to buy it and have it take up real estate in my closet. But, and I'm going to say this because the colors were right. They were bright colors. They was it was like a bright, radiant pink, and there was yellow and blue, and it just very much suited my colors. It was an off the shoulder dress, so I it accommodated my width nicely, but it was very romantic in its print and very romantic in the ruffles that that you can't see it because the camera's cutting me off, but off the shoulder there was like a. Eyed ruffle on the front, and then the skirt it was, it was a whole dress, but the skirt kind of wrapped in the front, and there was a ruffle on the bottom seam. So it was really flowy and pretty, and it was beautiful, and I felt really good in it. But you know, when I look back at it, I'm like, now I understand why I didn't feel dynamite in it.
Blair Petroni 45:23
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, and, and that's such a great example, because you are giving, like, the perfect case study of what every client that I've had? And I mean, you could copy pasta that with shirts, pants, skirts, dresses, jumpsuits, what accessories? Girl of people being like, okay, so I have this, and it didn't look right, and I'm like, Okay, so here's what it is. It's gonna be one of three things. It's gonna either be it wasn't in your colors, it wasn't in your lines, it wasn't in your vibe, yeah, right, it's one of those things, and that's what made it feel like a costume on you, because it wasn't in one of those three things, yeah? But once you combine all those three things, the magic happens, and it settles on you, and you're like, Whoa, yes. It looks like you. Now it doesn't matter if other people like it, that's not what I'm saying. It matters if you like it, if it feels it looks like you, that's what matters.
Erin Cox 46:34
But when it reflects you, you stand a little taller, like your shoulders are back a little higher, like your smile is a little bigger, your your light is brighter. And if that's not confidence, I then, I don't know, I don't understand the definition.
Blair Petroni 46:54
It's really, really fun to put you guys in stuff that is for you and to see you in the dressing rooms and stuff that my favorite thing is when I pull something and you guys are like, that is hideous. I'm like, we're still trying it on, and then we put it on, and you're like, Okay, but why do I love this? I hated it on the rack player. Why do I love this? And we go through why? Yeah, I'm like, girl. Show colors is show body type is show essence. It's all the things so it doesn't look like a costume on you. It looks like you.
Erin Cox 47:33
Yeah, and never, if you ever get to go shop with Blair, if she says you should try this on, the answer needs to be, okay.
Blair Petroni 47:41
I have clients that are my my dramatic essences. One of my clients is a soft, natural, dramatic essence. I love her so much. She knows she is a pain in the ass. And when we go shopping, like I even tell her that too, and she's like, I know, but I'll pick up something and she she's the that is, that is hideous. And I'm like, we're trying it on anyway.
Erin Cox 48:07
You'll thank me later. It
Blair Petroni 48:09
always happens every time. She's like, again, but that's what I want that for you guys. I want that for you. Like, I don't want you to feel like you are having this costume moment on you. I want you to have the aha moments I don't I don't want you to have this like, feeling of what do I do next? Like I see some stylists having with clients, and this is why I'm so honest with you guys in the beginning of telling you, if you do not continue with a personal styling session after this, or continue with like your three to five sessions in two years, you have wasted your money on a style analysis, whether it's with me or any other stylist, you have to keep going, Yeah, you have to, because you are going to need the help to see things. You need to ask them, the questions you need to go shopping with them. You need to do the closet clean outs. You need to you have to keep going, because if you do not, you will not rematrix your brain into the style components that it needs for you to have all of this information settle in your brain. I tell you guys very straight up, always it takes six to 12 months for you to initially understand the colors, the body types and the essences like you have a lot of information that's being downloaded into your brain, whether it's your colors, it's your guidelines, it's your vibe and. You're going to keep playing with all of this stuff, and it's going to take a minute for it to click for you. But once it clicks, it clicks.
Erin Cox 50:06
It does. It does. I mean, just as an example, when I am shopping online now, like, let's say I'm looking for a sweater, right? And there's so many sweaters in the wintertime that are crew neck sweaters, because it just makes logical sense. But crew necks, I don't love them on me. They don't necessarily love me back. But I pay so much more attention to where the shoulder seam sits on a sweater, because you have some seams that are going to sit here, and you have some seams that are going to sit here, and then you have the drop shoulders, and you have the raglan. And so when I am looking at something, it can be the right color and it can have a V neck, but if it's got a narrow shoulder seam, I'm thinking twice about it, because even if I size up, that seam is not going to fall enough off of my shoulder to really accommodate my width in a way that looks effortless.
Blair Petroni 51:06
Yeah, absolutely right. Like it's because of your style blueprint. You had these very specific parameters of exactly because you're a Let's just tell everybody what you are. Aaron's a bright spring, flamboyant, natural with a classic essence, which still blows my mind, because I'm like, none of those things should fit together, but they do. Literally, she's sitting right in front of us. That's Erin. I feel the same way.
Unknown Speaker 51:35
Why couldn't I just be a soft Summer
Blair Petroni 51:40
Girl? We tried. We tried. So for a long time, we did. And you saw, with the photos too, like you we you saw, you're like, oh my god, I look insane in everything else. But if, if we are just telling you guys, you know, like tools, not rules, and here's exactly what we put on you as a, you know, they would have called you an upside down triangle. Okay, here's what we do. Aaron as an upside down triangle. Here you go. Okay, that leaves you guessing. Well, what do I What do I do next? Right? Kind of what we were saying a minute ago, it tells you to go explore, right? So that you're empowered to go play with new information, which is great, which is what I tell you guys to go do. However, you don't have the other two components, you don't have color, you don't have your your vibe, you don't have your essence. So it's a real big shopping world out there. Yeah, and there's a lot of fabrics, there's a lot of prints, there's a lot of heel type, there's a lot of which ones are for you. Yeah, you don't know. You don't know because you don't know the body type. You just know you're a shape, correct? What the What do I do? Congratulations, you're a shape. And by the way, those shapes actually the reason why everybody hates them. Here's the circuit you guys. They're basically telling you that you're ugly. The shapes are telling you what to hide. That's why, if you guys go and look on a lot of other stylist websites, they'll be like, This is how you hide a tummy the F I would never tell that to a client. I would never say, hide anything, ever. How about we just put you in clothing that's actually meant for you. Let's put you in the fabric weights that are meant for you. I don't want to hide anything. I want to on full display. Put you in your superpower, whether that's vertical, width, balance, petiteness, double curve, I don't want to hide ish about you?
Erin Cox 53:47
No, I think about my the system where I did my training, and it's based on where, like, Where does your body gain weight? When you gain weight, do you gain it in your in your hips and your butt? Do you gain it in your belly? And then if you're gaining it in your hips and your butt, then they're being taught to dress in an outer column, which is where, like your pants, and essentially your third layer are the same color to mask that curve in your hip, to make you look more narrow or make you look more hourglass. And it just, does that serve you well? Does that make you feel confident? Like, does that give you confidence, or does that just give you more questions
Blair Petroni 54:32
I want. This is a this is about your preference as a human, as a person. I cannot tell you what to do. But with my clients, it was very, very clear that, in the very beginning, when I was a baby stylist, before I ever discovered other style systems and became certified in other style systems, the very first ones was the one that everybody gets certified in. Which is the nouns, apple, pear, our clock and clients come back to me and say, Blair. I know that we picked some beautiful clothes for me, but I opened my closet, and I really don't I like the clothes. I don't like how they made me feel, and I don't know why. And then one day it hit me. I was like, oh my god, the clothes are making them feel ugly, because it's telling them that they're fat. And it's not like anybody else was ever going to be able to, like, make that connection. Because I was like, it's, I swear to God, I think it's the marketer in me, or some things, because I'm, you know, got that crazy marketer gene, but I was like, Oh, my gosh, oh my gosh, that's what it is, holy frail. And so that's why, when I look at the Kibbe system, I'm like, Okay, this is all about your superpower. This is about dressing you to what makes you special. I don't want to hide anything about you. I want to dress you to your superpower. Right?
Erin Cox 56:10
First time in my life I felt comfortable in my own skin getting dressed. 41 years old. Oh. Yeah, but here's the thing, I get to do it differently for my kid, right? Yep, I get to, I get to help her figure out her superpowers. And we already talk about that to some extent, we do, like the other the eyes she does these little like dress the doll sticker books that she just absolutely loves. And the other day, she showed me the beginning page of one of them, and there were two little like, princesses or whatever, and it was describing them. And she was like, this princess likes sparkles and shine and all of this. And like, this princess likes nature and being outdoors. And she's like, Mom, I think that one's you. And I was like, not wrong. She's like, But Mommy, I think this one's me. And I was like, Yeah, girl,
Blair Petroni 57:07
yep, that is you fine, like, we put
Erin Cox 57:14
her sheepskin rug from her floor around her shoulders when Blair was here. And Blair was like, there's only one essence in the world that gets to pull off a sheepskin rug from the floor. Like, have it look amazing? Yeah.
Blair Petroni 57:29
I was like, like, your daughter dramatic?
Erin Cox 57:33
Spoiler alert, we think she's a flamboyant natural with a dramatic essence.
Blair Petroni 57:38
That child is gonna be a runway model is very, very cool. Okay, sorry, back to this. You guys, not Aaron's children. So with a tool based approach, your confidence is going to remain reactive. There's no proactivity there. It remains completely reactive because you're not empowered to shop, because you are trying to create this like cohesive wardrobe in which you're gonna look and feel like yourself forever, like you're not told to do that. You're still mostly gonna shop because you got a special event, right? It's gonna feel like that disjointed thing. So that's why a lot of you guys are like, Why does it look like I have 14 people that live in my closet? Well, you're not shopping for granimals, my love. You're not shopping for the season, the body type, the essence. You are dead ass, shopping for an upside down triangle. Or you're shopping because you have a conference coming up, yeah? Or, like, you, you don't have the tools. Yeah, you don't have your blueprint. You don't have something else that a stylist would like, yeah, actually
Erin Cox 58:58
chat with you about and when you're reactive shopping, your stress level is higher. You're spending more because you're having to buy what's available right now, chances are it's gonna miss the mark on like, if I had to shop for a conference in the fall, am I gonna find bright spring colors, maybe not, but if I know that that's a hole in my closet, then I can keep an eye on things, right?
Blair Petroni 59:31
Yep, absolutely, 100% and it will take you a while with your style blueprint to find the things that are perfect for you, it's a treasure hunt. It's supposed to that's the best part of it, to be honest. That's my favorite part. Yeah, you have to have patience, because when you find that perfect thing, it will fill that hole in your closet that you need. I almost start getting sad at this point, because I'm like, No, I. Found it like
Erin Cox 1:00:03
no but also it gives you permission to leave behind the things that everybody else is wearing, right? I'm never gonna buy a pair of barrel jeans.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:15
Oh, God, please don't like ever.
Erin Cox 1:00:18
One because I don't particularly like them, too, because I know they're not going to serve my body and my lines the way they need to, right, because most likely, they're going to hit at the ankle or slightly above right, they're going to put within my lower half that I don't need, and it just goes on from there. So then, then, when you are able to be proactive. You can look at a trend and say, I'm going to pass on this one because it's not going to honor anything about who I am or who I want to show up as in the world, 100%
Blair Petroni 1:00:53
100% so let's pivot from talking about tools to talking about the blueprint approach. Okay, stuff that's gonna give you confidence. Okay, so my model is systematic, right? Talks. It gives you literally, the colors that love you, back the lines and the clothes that love you back, the vibe of the clothing and accessories that love you back, aka y'all. It's a system, systematic, and by the way, you are, the system you you, you. This is based on your biology. Your biology. This is why I literally tell you, like your colors are your undertone, your lines are your vertical and your width, that's your proportions. That's in your VA your body, excuse me, your essence. That's your soul. I tell you, this is like, who you are, who you've been since you were like, little bitty. If there's anything that's like, woo, woo. About this. That's that part. But like, is real, yeah, that is like, real, real, real, real, real, okay, once you learn all of those things, it just becomes this internal compass that you like develop, and you hone, and you just become better and better and better and better. So because of the style blueprint, you're going to look and feel more like you and your confidence becomes consistent. It becomes predictable. It becomes repeatable with the tools model, it really empowers exploration, but it doesn't always give you execution. Whereas the blueprint model, blueprint model, excuse me, it minimizes guesswork, it provides you tools that liberate you, because it's literally about what makes your body special, not what we're trying to hide about you, and it also turns your style into this really predictable form of self expression. Again, let's get you dressed in 90 seconds. Let's make sure that you have no guesswork when you're getting dressed. You are not second second guessing what you're doing. Boop, boop, boop, boop, I'm done 90 seconds, yeah, no second guessing, because I'm in my colors. I'm in my lines, I'm in my essence. If y'all
Erin Cox 1:03:13
have been listening for any period of time, you know that I am a Systems nerd, and if you haven't been listening. I am a Systems nerd, right? Like, I was in like, a PT session the other day, and I was talking with the guy who is, he's wonderful. He's an Enneagram for he's, you know, very introverted. And he's like, I just, I can't, can't get this together, and I can't get that together. And, and I was like, well, you, you rise and fall to the success of your systems, right? And so for me, when I sat back and I looked at this investment of doing color and doing style and then spending time working with Blair styling and shopping and things like that, it was an investment in my system to make my life easier for me, because there are so many variables on a day to day basis that you cannot control right? And so if I can systematize the things that can be systematized and make them work efficiently for me, that frees up my energy, that frees up my brain space, it frees up my just my capacity and my agency to handle all of the like, the plates that are spinning and all the things that are moving. You know, so whether it's your your closet or your laundry system or your like, how you shut down your kitchen at the end of the day and get ready for tomorrow? Like, those things are like, those are like, your inspector, Inspector Gadget, arms and legs and hats, like, that's the like this system is, like, this is the dressing system, and it's gonna zip out and like, do, do, do, pick out your clothes. And like, ready go. Like, you're done, right? So I can't say enough positive about what this brings to your life in terms of just adding quality. Yeah.
Blair Petroni 1:05:02
I appreciate that for me, I just because I'm type A and I was like, I when I realized that it was like these three things, yeah, that when you brought them together, it just made like, getting dressed easier and more fun. And I was like, I gotta tell everybody, yeah. I gotta tell everybody how this works. Yes, for sure. Gotta tell everybody. And I want you guys. I want you guys to experience it, because it's really fun. So for me, confidence isn't about, like, I said this, like, fly by night, mood. It's really about capability. Because many people are going to categorize confidence as the static mood or as this everyday feeling invincible. No, it's It's not wearing a particular skirt and feeling bold that day. You can and you will when you know your style blueprint, but like it's really about knowing that your choices are gonna align in your identity. Okay, confidence fluctuates for me only when the system that you're using is not anchored in truth. When you are the truth you because the style blueprint you are the truth. That's when your confidence is rooted, right? Like, you know, Oh, this isn't shakeable, yeah. And the reason that that literally contrasts with like other stylists promises their language is like, Hey guys, we just you guys just need to try harder. Just try harder, right? Have fun. Try harder. Have a good time. But what I like to tell you guys to create your confidence, you have your system, so now you know better. You have more information. You know better. You do better. Yeah, you're not trying harder, yeah, you're trying smarter, right? Work smarter, not harder?
Erin Cox 1:07:15
Yeah, I love that. I have been reading it's called Raising worry free girls by sissy Goff and just talks about the anxiety epidemic in young girls in our country, and the things that we can do as parents to empower them to not get stuck in the cycle. And it talks so much about creating competence and independence and empowering that in your in your child and your daughter, because that is where the confidence comes from to move into the world. And I just this is such an incredible metaphor for that very process as well.
Blair Petroni 1:07:55
Yeah, absolutely, I think, I think the final thought that I want to leave everybody with is really this, like guys, I don't promise confidence because of your clothes. I promise confidence because I help you understand yourself. And once you know yourself structurally, biologically, confidence stops being this hit or miss emotion, it becomes this trustworthy compass that's inside of you. And I really want you guys to feel like that. That's really important to me. That's our show today, guys, that's what we got for you.
Erin Cox 1:08:40
That's what we got. Thanks for being here, thanks for spending your time with us. We appreciate you, and we value your time and energy. So thanks again for being here with us. If you haven't subscribed on YouTube, we would love for you to do that. Give us a like, give us a follow, give us a comment, and we will catch you
Blair Petroni 1:08:59
there, and not even just YouTube. Guys on Apple, podcasts, on Spotify, subscribe on there, leave us comments, leave us likes. All of them are so, so important to us. We look at all of them, we read all of them, we respond to all of them when we can, especially, you know on YouTube, because it allows us to respond to them. We love you guys. We'll see you next time. Bye, y'all, bye.
